Endings and Beginnings

I started writing this post back in February and I did not post it, cause frankly it was pretty depressing and I knew at the time that I just needed to write it all out and let the feelings pour out of me.  But I also was smart enough not to publish it because well, it was just a little melodramatic!

I am a pretty big boob when it comes to my kids, and with this being my baby and my only daughter, let's just say I am glad I waited so I could hit the back space button and erase 50% of what I had written. So here is the revised version, exposing my underbelly and the big wimp that I am:)

Time for a little magic

The water show, World of Color was spectacular!

My family loves anything Disney, probably because we have made so many memories there.  So it wasn't a strange request from my daughter to go to Disney on her 20th birthday.

I had told her that we would go on her b'day in January, well, it just didn't work out, I had just started a new job in October and we were in major planning stages of our upcoming shows, plus my husband had been assigned a new project at his job and was feeling that it was not going to work out.

So I promised during her spring break we would sneak away no matter what!

Well, spring break was fast approaching  and it was probably an even worse time to leave our jobs. I was really struggling as to what I should do, should I  just tell her we couldn't do it right now?Thank goodness, the clarity came! There is never going to be a good time to leave work...

My baby girl wanted to go on spring break with her best friend Cami, and her mom and dad...  to Disney!  What the heck was I thinking, these moment's don't last forever, projects come and go at work, but taking time to be with my family, that's what matters most.

First purchase in the park... Churros of course!

Love this man!

We were up at the crack of dawn, we ate churros for breakfast, big fat dill pickles for lunch (the best one's are only sold at Disney), hit every ride, took a thousand pictures, took some time to shop for grand kids in Downtown Disney, and walked and walked till we couldn't walk anymore.   We laughed and joked and forgot the world for 3 days and it was blissful.

Dinner at Tortilla Joe's in Downtown Disney

Disney is even better at night

I am sure when we go back to work tomorrow the projects will still be there, hair will be on fire as usual, and that's all good too.  I will be ready to work.
But sometimes we just need to get away experience a little magic!

“People who go to Disney who have magic in themselves experience magic there... The principle is simple: fun, joy, and happiness, are something we bring to life, not something life, circumstance, or situation bring to us. There are truly no magic kingdoms, only magic people.
Fun, joy and happiness are choices, orientations, approaches, attitudes, a way of living in the world, not the world itself...” 
― David W. Jones, Moses and Mickey Mouse: How to Find Holy Ground in the Magic Kingdom and Other Unusual Places

It's been a while...

My goodness, I'm a lame blogger!  Since my last blog, I have a new job, a new grand daughter, Christmas has come and gone, I turned a year older, '48 not so bad', I officially do not have any teenage children (very weird) and dealt with the loss of one of our sweet schnauzers.

Time to get caught up and do a better job and keeping up...

I'm now working at RLegacy Entertainment.  We are 8 weeks away from launching our first 'Inspire My Life' event. You can check us out at inspiremylife.com

I work with a team of great folks, and we have had a great time getting to know each other and working out all the fun exciting details of this program.

It is a far cry from the tech world I was in before and is a much better fit for my personality.

The latest addition to our family a beautiful new grand daughter.

Babies are a link between angels and men.

To say that I love my grand children would be a huge understatement!  I remember when my first grand baby arrived, I was worried that I would not love him as much as I love my own kids.  Well, I am here to tell you... you don't need to worry about that!  Your ability to love just increases and is magnified in these sweet grand babies that arrive.  I'm so excited to see what the future holds for these little angels that have joined our family!  I can't wait!!

I'm not exactly sure how it could possibly be 20 years since my baby was born.  I'm also not exactly sure when the tradition started of singing the 'Birthday Song' as loud and as badly as we do... but none the less this is how the O'Gwin's do it.

Last but not least my 11 year old Miniature Schnauzer passed away this Friday.  She was a sweet little girl and has left a hole in our hearts.

Our sweet little Zoe.
“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” 
― Mark Twain

Needless to say I am ready for Spring to arrive and ready to start digging in my garden, but for now I will just have to be content with the seed magazines that are arriving everyday.

"Keep your faith in beautiful things; 
in the sun when it is hidden, 
in the Spring when it is gone." 
-  Roy R. Gibson 

I thought he walked on water...

My Dad and Uncle Bob 1963

Great Uncle Bob and me 

A few weeks ago I was driving home from Salt Lake and an old song by Randy Travis came on the radio, instantly my Uncle Bob's sweet face popped in my mind. He passed away about a year ago, and for that short 40 minute drive home I felt like I had an unseen passenger:)

He was my great uncle and just as he appears in the picture above is how he looked when I was a little girl.  He was raised in Kentucky, grew up very poor, I never remember him having any teeth.

He rolled his own cigarettes and let me lick the paper and give it a little twist, he never learned how to read or write; he signed his name with an X. He never married, he told me because he didn't think he would ever be able to provide well enough.

He always had a watch on a chain that he kept in his overalls that he told me I cut my teeth on.  I remember pulling it out and putting it up to my ear to hear it tick.

He always smelled like Old Spice, and was always clean shaven.

He worked as a hired hand for my Uncle Frank on the farm.  I have wonderful memories of listening to all of my uncles, and Papa sitting around Grandma Jewell's dinner table, drinking coffee hot enough to burn your taste buds and playing Rook, laughing and tellin jokes. 

In his later years my mom moved my Uncle Bob out to Tennessee so she could take care of him.  I got to see him once a year until he passed away.  He was a good man, he always told me he would have liked to come see the mountains of Utah. Well, I think he did... with me... a few weeks ago, in my car.

Uncle Bob and my son Zane

Randy Travis - He walked on water -

Summer time

It's been a couple weeks since I posted, pretty quiet since the 4th of July.  We had a great day with family and friends.  We were a little late for the balloon launch, but we got there in time to see them fly.

We loved The Amazing Spider-Man

Sitting around gabbing 

The girls and I just made ourselves comfy while the boys had 
a good time setting off 'tons' of fireworks!  

My niece and daughter in law

We have lived in our home for over 20 years, my neighbors are not
only our friends but have become an extension of our family.

Our garden is starting to produce some yummy veggies, our first tomato and banana peppers arrived.  We are waiting for a couple more tomato's so we can enjoy a big fat BLT:

Utah is now in the dog days of summer, the heat has been so crazy over 100 degrees for multiple days.  The air doesn't seem to move.  
In our area of the woods this also means plenty of fires in the mountains, at one point we had fires on 3 of our mountain ranges, we actually had ash falling on us in our back yard.  Since then we have had a couple good  rain storms and I think all the fires are out now.

It looked like a volcano was going off, luckily no houses were lost in this fire.

Now that the grand kids have gone back to Georgia and the 4th is over I have been trying to decide what project I want to get started on in the house, the dreaded basement closet (still full of my boys 'stuff'), the garage (ugh to hot),  old family video's organized and digitally redone, the list goes on...

I also must admit I  have really enjoyed these last few months on my own schedule, with no job, but I am starting to look around and throw my resume out to a few places.  I miss the extra spending money and before we know it the holidays will be here, and by then I will have 3 cute grand babies to buy for:) http://www.xmasclock.com/  

Heat, Ma'am!  it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.  ~ Sydney Smith, Lady Holland's Memoir


The summer night is like a perfection of thought. ~ Wallace Stevens

Balloons, Parades, Friends, Family, and Fireworks!

I love the 4th of July! My family would agree it is as big as Christmas around our home.  
For 20 plus years we have been up at 5:30 am on the 4th we head to Fox Field so that we can walk around as they inflate a field full of hot air balloons.  


There is something quite magical in the air as the first balloon launches with the American flag high in the air against the back drop of our mountains and the sun rising... not to mention the Star Spangled Banner being played over the loud speakers.  It just starts the day off perfectly.  

We then enjoy a pancake breakfast provided by the local veterans.  

 If truth were told I am probably the one that enjoys the parade the most.  I love cheering as the local high school bands go by, I love the jets flying over, the boom of the cannons as the parade starts.  The kids running around diving for candy, the veterans that go marching by and how the crowd rises to our feet with hands on hearts, the floats, the noise, ahh, I love it all!

Our little nephew loving the firetruck and all it's bells and whistles

Neighbors, Friends and Family, does it get any better!

From here we usually pile back in the car and head to the local theater to see the summer block buster, this year it will be Spiderman.  The coolness of the theatre is perfect after sitting in the sun for 3 hours.


Then it's time to go home and put some hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill eat our selves sick and then head outside for the parachute fireworks.

These are the fireworks that should be let off during the day, they have army men attached to parachutes that we launch and then the neighborhood kids run and around trying to catch them.

We then all crash in the family room to watch Independence Day with Will Smith and nap during the heat of the day.  We need to prepare for the long night of fireworks ahead.


This has varied over the years, some years we head to Stadium of Fire and some years we are the 'Neighborhood of Fire', setting off our own mass amount of fireworks.  


I am so grateful for the freedoms we enjoy, for this wonderful country we live in, for the men and women who have gone before and those who are serving us today.  


I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July!

You have to love a nation that celebrates its Independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.  You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

~Erma Bombeck

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty"

~John F. Kennedy

Wagon Rides, Pony Rides and Some Goats

We have had quite the busy week with my oldest son and his little family.  Our first adventure was last Friday we headed to Thanksgiving Point.  We were able to pet some friendly goats, have a wagon ride, and the grand finale...  a couple of rides on a pony.

She is such the sweetie

Little Miss with her Uncle Zane

A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty!

To much fun!

4 Generations

I have not wanted to take the time to post the past couple days, my grand babies and son and his wife are here for a 2 week visit so I feel like each and every minute needs to be spent with them!

We had a great day playing at the fountains and visiting the toy store. 

Little one is always jabbering away and telling us stories.

Have lots more pictures to take gotta go:) 

The 'C' Word

Recently my husband spent the day with a good friend whose son is dying from cancer.  He is young in his twenties, and has been sent home to die with his loved ones gathered around his bedside.  This makes me so  sad, and kept me awake most of last night, just pondering about life and the hard things we all endure, some seem to get more than their fair share.

This disease has hit my family more than I would like to say.  My husband lost his 15 year old brother to  T-Cell leukemia.
 My niece ( http://thefashionbounty.blogspot.com) battled stage 3 non Hodgkin s Lymphoma when she was 15 and kicked it's ass!
Today my sister in law, Sarah  (http://hopeforsarah.blogspot.com)  is valiantly battling cancer and has been for 5 plus years.

I have lost a very good friend to this disease and watched her bravely battle while making baby blankets and booties for future grand babies she would not meet in this world.  Another good friend battled breast cancer and won, but her body is still in pain from all the chemo and surgeries.

Why do bad things happen to good people, the age old question.  Well, I don't have an answer.

So I have to depend on what I do know.

I know that we have a Heavenly Father and I know that we have a Savior Jesus Christ.  I know that they love us.  I know that it is not a race to see who lives longest, I know that adversity is a part of this life, I know that the scriptures are full of bad things happening to good people, our Savior is the perfect example.

Truman G Madsen once asked Pres. Hugh B Brown, why the Lord would put Abraham through the experience of being asked to sacrifice his own son.  Obviously, God knew that Abraham would be willing to do anything God commanded, and if that was so, why did the Lord put him through such a test?  Pres. Brown answered, "Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham.
 I know that when heavy trials have been placed upon me, that is when I have grown/learned the most.  Although I only see that in hindsight, not while enduring them.

I know there is life after this life, I know that we will live again, I know that while we are sad when they leave us there is a great rejoicing and reunion on the other side with family members who have gone before. I know that families really are forever.

SO I cling to what I know and believe, and pray for those who are going through this hard trial, that they may feel the love and comfort that only our Savior can give.

Today Matters!

Singing... Mandy oh Mandy, I love my Mandy

I just got off the phone with my baby sister, she is usually one of the first posts I read on Facebook in the morning.   I love reading the dialog she posts of her son's conversations that she is eavesdropping on, it usually takes me down memory lane with my own kids and starts my day off with a smile.

Recent post from my sis...

Amanda Moore Shackleford

March 25 

Just overheard Jeremiah telling Cole that he needs to trust him, and to just let him try this one thing. Hmmm. This could end poorly. Lol.

 I am the oldest and Mandy is the baby, we are 14 years apart in age. When Mandy was born I could have rocked her all day.  She was a major cuddle bug and so tiny (still is after 3 kids, you stink) and I would make up songs to her name and sing them to her.

She was 4 when I got married and I moved away, so we don't share many memories of 'our family'. I felt most of the time more like a distant aunt, we saw each other maybe once a year and sometimes not even that.  I was a stranger to her.  It wasn't until she started having babies that we started to communicate more often.

Mandy and I still live a long ways from each other, but with Facebook and texting and weekly phone calls she has been able to share all their going on's with her family.

 She has 3 boys and is always busy... substitute teaching, being a scout mom, attending baseball games, and wrestling meets, science projects, oh and did I mention going to school to get her elementary ed degree, and  she is still crazy in love with her hubby, (otherwise known as muscles)

 She is one busy lady and I know she is sometimes worn out...  so many baseball games to get to, but she can't wait till baseball season starts, watching your boy hit a home run, I think I heard her yell all the way to Utah, to hear your oldest son's voice start to squeak, and needing a razor, she's completely wigged out by this one, and that's just funny, Jedi fights in the house, I think she probably should join em,  ordering an entire  pizza per boy...
and you still might not have enough to satisfy their appetites;  well,that's why you work right, to feed the animals, trips to Disney while they still 'believe'; ah it's all good!  So enjoy the journey Sis, I know you do, but I am here to remind you in case you need me, cause it goes so fast.

P.S. I happen to think you are an amazing, beautiful, talented, fantastic, wonderful lady!  (insert musical notes here) Mandy ohhh Mandy I love my Mandy!

Is this empty nest syndrome? Did I miss something?

My children's age range is 19 to 26, they are all in school and trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up.

I am in my late 40's and have devoted my life to the raising of my children and loved every minute.  

Now they are grown up and although they still need me at times, I have a lot of time to think about... what I what to be... now that I am all grown up.

I've heard other women say, don't lose sight of who 'you' are a long the way... I don't think I did.  I had read many times that you need to take care of your needs as you are raising your kids, I did, I had my nails done, I colored my hair, I went out with friends, my hubby took me on a date every Friday night,I scrap booked my guts out, I went to the gym with my girlfriends sometimes for hours. I don't remember feeling sad or neglected.  I had a some great friends doing the same thing I was, we spent our summers at the parks with our kids, went to the pool, bike rides, road trips and field trips. 

                                      July 4th Parade with my best friend and her family

 I'm also LDS and being a Mormon is like having a full time job!  I was involved in working with the young women in my neighborhood for many years, this meant planning weekly activities and Sunday lessons, and helping them achieve their goals, I was PTA president and home room mom, I was never bored!

                                          Girls camp with other awesome women 'Moms'

  My family went on yearly trips to Disney World and we all became Scuba Certified, we were blessed to have the financial ability to do lots of fun trips.

So I didn't think I was missing out or needed to add anything. 

 I still had my fair share of trials don't get me wrong, but that is a blog(s) for another day.

So that leads me to today... this stage of life. I know I would like to  spend a lot more time if I could with grand kids but they are far away as of now, so until I get a chance to revel in my 'grandma - ness' I need to make some goals, start a few hobbies, something...

 

So here I sit...  wondering, is there something that will make me as happy and as content as when I was raising my kids? 

 Or was that the best years of my life? Nah, I refuse to believe that! I am and will continue finding new interests, I mean who knew I liked gardening, certainly not me!   I know I am not alone, I have talked with you... all my friends/readers around the neighborhood,  I/we can do this!

 I think this could this be the empty nest syndrome that I have heard so much about! Well, I am not giving up, I will keep searching and along the way I'll let you know what I discover. I want you to know I am not sad, or depressed quite the opposite actually, just trying to figure out what next? If you have any ideas, give me a call I'm ready to try new stuff (insert smiley face)

Hmmm, maybe a quick weekend trip with my favorite husband will inspire me!